The GORUCK challenge means a lot of things to a lot of people. To some people, it is a way to challenge themselves physically and mentally and once they receive their patch – mission accomplished. To others, alumni for example, it is an excuse to catch up with and meet like minded friends and have a laugh. For me, there was no expectations, the only thing I felt upon signing up was fear.
I heard about GORUCK in the summer of 2012 when my boyfriend discovered it on the website, ITS tactical. He signed up almost immediately and I went on to shadow him that September – class 259, the first class to take place outside of America; our very own London, England.
2 months later and I’d signed up for the New Years Eve challenge in Las Vegas. I had been to America only once before, the very month before in fact. I fell in love with the country and couldn’t wait to go back and see the new year in – GORUCK style. There was only one problem; the only race/event I’d ever done before was a Race For Life (a 5k run in aid of cancer research) when I was around 15 (I am now 22) and one Spartan Sprint (a 5k obstacle course) – at the time, I found it difficult.
I was not really any more prepared fitness wise, I’d never rucked before in my life and my upper body strength was virtually nonexistent. I had shadowed a class before and never on this earth would have thought it’d be something I could do. I had less than 6 weeks to get in shape and quite frankly, it didn’t really happen.
Thus ensued the hardest 12 hours of my life.
I made it through the challenge, I burst into tears when I received my patch, there were so many times when I didn’t think I could make it through. Class 368, Cadre Joel, 12 hours, New Years Eve 10pm – New Years Day 10am. The best time of my life.
Not only did I make it through the challenge and earn my patch, GORUCK taught me things about myself that I never would have known otherwise.
I suffer with depression and it is a difficult condition that isn’t always taken very seriously. I beat myself up a lot and I sometimes struggle with day to day tasks.
GORUCK left me feeling a sense of elation that I’d never felt before and haven’t since. it taught me that people are good and kind and caring, It taught me that I have the best boyfriend I could ever have dreamed of (he held my hand while I cried towards the end of the challenge, at the same time as carrying the flag, I didn’t know until afterwards that he had cramp in his bicep but didn’t adjust as he didn’t want to let go of my hand), and most importantly, it taught me that I am so much more capable than I ever thought I could be.
I have a lot of blue days (as I like to call them) and sometimes I feel worthless, that I am of no use to this world. I think back to that event, the night that Cadre Joel changed my life, and I remember the kindness of the people around me, how important they made me feel and how much I loved them for just being them, having only just met them. I remember the happiness and relief I felt at completing the challenge, staggering into Hennessey’s Tavern with Joel, Rob & Rob and enjoying an omelette on New Years Day in Vegas. The weight of the world had lifted from my shoulders. All that mattered in that moment was quenching my thirst, resting my feet, enjoying the company I was with and eating that delicious omelette.
Whenever I feel down or like I don’t know what’s happening and what I should do, I think back and I remember how a cold beer and a warm shower were the only ambitions I had at 10am on New Years Day 2013. I go to my fridge, get a can of coke out, sit on my sofa and appreciate what is around me. It doesn’t cure the condition of course, but it put things into perspective in a way that I can relate to, my own experiences.
GORUCK has taught me that faith, love and happiness are the only things that matter in this world; if you have those, you are the richest person. If you are lacking in one, the other 2 will help you to achieve the 3rd. Life is precious, people are good, we are lucky. Never forget.
Photos by Nancy Williams
[infobox] Jess Orestano has gone on to complete more GoRuck events, numerous mud runs and more since her achievement at class 368. Find more of Jess’s great write-ups at her site, CRAWL.RUN.FLY. [/infobox]
- Beneath the Surface - November 5, 2013
June Chung says
great article Jess! :o)
I was in vegas that weekend you did this, wish i had signed up!
Kelvin says
Excellent writeup!
Patrick says
Very good write up. Its not always easy speaking about what you feel are your weaknesses. I have a distinct feeling you will be an inspiration for other. The challenge is so much mental more than it is physical, and you proved that. Proved it to yourself, and everyone in your class. I hope you come back to the US and join us in another challenge. You are definitely GORUCK Tough.
Chris says
Awesome! That second to last paragraph resonated with me big time; one of the great thing about the Challenge is that it very quickly strips away the distractions and trivialities that we wade through. The only things left are the ideas of comforts, and even those rapidly become abstractions that you know you’ll experience at some point in the future…but that will be some other version of yourself.
Markus says
Great write-up, Jess. I get panic attacks brought on when I spin a small problem in my head until it is overwhelming and bigger than it needs to be. I didn’t used to be this way; but I have been this way since my dad died in 2006. Doing a GR Challenge taught me that sometimes things aren’t as daunting as they seem….that I can find a way to cope and get through it. Like you said, it’s no cure for the condition, but it does put things in perspective. Thank you for reminding me of that fact.