In Honor of a Friend

“It’s not about you, it’s about them”

“Bye, I hope you have a safe trip.”, were the last words I spoke to my friend Roslyn “Roz” Schulte that day, May 20^th, 2009, four years ago, in Kabul, Afghanistan.  A few hours later I got the news that an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) had taken her life on the way to a conference.

We had spent my first month there going on Refugee missions in the city delivering humanitarian supplies to the needy. She was an intelligence officer and I was a Logistics Officer. She was always the kind of person to give a helping hand to the needy; we would volunteer what little free time we had from work to help these people who suffered every day.

Refugee Camp – Kabul Afghanistan

This one event; forever changed my life, and made me want to be more like her: selfless, honest, charitable and an amazing human being.

I found people like her in the GRT Family on September 22^nd 2012 with Class 257 and Cadre Wood.

Class 257

During my first GRC, I felt like I was crushed physically, emotionally, and mentally. I suffered through the extreme evolutions of pain dished out by the Cadre and wanted to quit every hour I was enduring this. We made long movements with many heavy items (three 40-50 lb. cinderblocks) and two logs.

My body broke down several times, and at one point I was hobbling along in pain as my hamstrings seized up on our final push to the end.

Class 257 – Climbing the Arch

That day I owed my finish to the men and lady who helped me there, and my memory of Roz.  I vowed to come back stronger so that I could be the one that said “I can help you”, “let me”, and “you better not quit on me”.

Heavy 001 – Fort Bragg – Did not Finish

I learned so much about my weaknesses, and physically I felt like if I had continued (I voluntarily withdrew around hour 8) my back would have died on me.  It gave out on me as I was low crawling in the baseball fields. I was pretty much inching forward with my arms and then I could barely move. The level of teamwork I saw in the short time I was there was nothing short of incredible.  With the Selection finishers as team leaders, it felt like a well synchronized machine, and it was great meeting some of the legends of GoRuck. I felt like I let my team down when I quit. It was not my proudest moment and I felt ashamed, but that night awakening in pure agony I knew I had made the right decision; as much as the guilt of quitting plagues me to this day.

Class 565

May 11 2013 was my second challenge -this one with with Cadre Jason – and it was brutal.  It began with a 3 hour long welcome party that did not seem to end.  We endured countless evolutions of Physical Training (Good Livin’): bear crawls, up and down the steps to the famous Arch, countless pushups, flutter kicks and more.  I saw a fellow teammate look like he wanted to quit, and I quietly whispered to him that if he was even thinking about it, to give me his ruck.  I told him it’s about the team, and we only succeed if we all finish. I knew I had taken a tiny step up from my last challenge.  We were also told “No eating until I say you can” which was a new one for me, something I heard about happening in Selection but not a GRC.

Class 565 – Climbing the Arch

A thousand pound telephone pole we picked up later was carried for a few miles – miles that took a long time to cover.  I saw the team come together, and I was amazed once again. It seems like each event brings forth a new awakening of wonders.  It was physically crushing – not just to me, but to others.  One guy on our team told me that once we dropped off the log, he would call a taxi to go home.  I told him to kick those demons in the m’fing throat and keep pressing on, to be strong, that I would take his ruck, and would not let him do it. I believe that receiving encouragement from someone much shorter than him is what filled him with a renewed sense of purpose.

I felt good that I could be there for a teammate and that I had accomplished my goal of not just finishing, but to finish knowing I could help just one other person do the same. I also found out I need to work on a few things to get even stronger so I could be 100% there for the team each time, and to get ready for a GoRuck Heavy.

At the finish Cadre Jason let us share any stories of why we were doing this. I shared my story of Roz.

I carried a 9/11 Remembrance Flag that day to help me remember, and to honor those who could no longer be there.  My friend Roz was ever present – whispering to me not to give up. I knew if I did, I would be letting her down. After my experience with class 565 I look forward to re-attacking GoRuck Heavy in the future.

The selflessness of most of the people in the GRT Group keep me coming back to it: they are there for people fighting cancer in need of support, Operation Rescue after Hurricane Sandy, and everyday people in need of a helping hand or a kind word.  GoRuck is one giant family that supports each other and strangers in need.  Just as with the Challenge, it always comes back to the person to your left and right.  It’s not about you, it’s about them.

I am forever grateful for the humbling experience I am brought in each challenge, and the Cadre are all masters of their craft.

Thank you to Cadre Wood, Cadre Jason, as well as Jason McCarthy who created this group of people who want to be better Americans.