From 80 Pounds Overweight to GoRuck Tough

As I sit here and try to process everything that happened at my Go Ruck Challenge the question I get asked most often is “Why?”. This question was also asked of us at the GRC just before the awful Tunnel of Love (those that were there can appreciate the suck factor of this little exercise). So after a few days of introspection, here is my answer. 2 years ago I was overweight and unhealthy. Working with my AMAZING trainer, Devin, and my best friend Holly, I have shed around 80 pounds… no crazy potions or pills or surgery, just hard work. My first goal was to complete a triathlon, which I did on March 24th. A group of people I work with had seen the GoRuck Challenge and we decided to sign up as a group. As time passed everyone except the Doc and me dropped out for one reason or another. As the event got closer I had decided that I wasn’t up to the challenge and had quietly told my family that I was not going to participate. On the Thursday before the event I had a sudden moment of clarity and decided to finish what I had started. I prepped my bricks, put on my big girl panties and drove to Nashville at Midnight.

To say that I was completely unprepared would be the biggest of understatements! I suppose everyone feels that way. I truly wanted to quit in the first hour, and every hour thereafter. I didn’t know if physically my body would hold up. While my fitness level is certainly better than it was 2 years ago, I didn’t know if I had done enough. I work out every day, I run, bike, lift weights, take boot camp classes and Zumba so I thought surely I would be able to do this. But this is a team event…no one gets through it alone and I certainly needed my team.

Every time I said “I can’t do this” there were 5 people showing me that I could, dragging me, holding my hand (and my ruck) and letting me know that they would help me persevere. And so when Cadre finally told us we were done after 10 LONG hours, I literally burst into tears. The sense of pride I feel is unequaled by anything. Not just that I accomplished this feat physically but that I accomplished it mentally as well.

But, the question of why has been asked by everyone that knows about this. At the GRC I said that I was doing it because nobody thought I could. That was not completely true. The fact is that I never thought I could. So it didn’t matter what other people thought I could or couldn’t do…I didn’t believe in myself. In my head I was still that old, overweight, unhealthy woman who couldn’t run or bike or swim or lift. What the GRC did for me was to kick that stupid voice out of my head, to let me know that I can do anything, accomplish anything, and that a real team NEVER lets you down.

When I finished my triathalon I loved that moment of crossing the finish line, of hearing my family and friends cheer my success. The most telling moment of the GRC is that final picture…all of us sitting (finally), filthy, exhausted but together, a team. So the end didn’t come in a solitary victory but a realization that we completed 10 hours of challenges as one. I cannot even begin to tell you how much respect I have for my team. I don’t know if I will ever see these people again but they will always be a part of me, of my story. And who knows, after my body recovers and my mind forgets how seriously brutal it was…maybe another? I AM GORUCK TOUGH!